


by your hand is the only end i forsee

by Marshmellowtea



Category: DRRB, Dangan:Rebirth, Dangan:Rebirth-Voices
Genre: (and in the following chapters), (but it's a prominent theme in the next chapter), (not in this chapter), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Child Abuse, F/M, Homelessness, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, i just don't wanna catch anyone off guard since. y'know, not super graphic but very much present, tags will be added as chapters go on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 12:22:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16702477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marshmellowtea/pseuds/Marshmellowtea
Summary: yodogawa doesn't believe in soulmates...until he finds his own.too bad he's his next target...(or, yodogawa's journey, from the beginning of his life to the end of the killing game. this is as much a coming-of-age story as it is a love story.)





	by your hand is the only end i forsee

**Author's Note:**

> oh boy. ohhhhh boy prepare the angst train whoot whoot 
> 
> btw, yodogawa is referred to as katagiri for this first chapter and the beginning of the second chapter. then it will switch over. 
> 
> trust me it makes sense in context sflkasjjsdlf

Katagiri has never believed in soulmates. Even with the name he has plastered across his wrist.

It’s just never made sense to him. Plenty of people have the same name, so who’s to say that half of these so-called soulmate couples aren’t stuck with the wrong people? That they haven’t all made some sort of mistake?

When he was a child, he would ask his father this question time and time again. Time and time again, he would always get the same answer:

“You can just tell, Zen-chan. There’s no mistakes, because you can tell.”

He’d always seen it as a cop-out. He would scrunch up his face, cross his arms over his chest, and pout in disbelief.

“I don’t believe you,” he’d say, sticking up his nose. “That sounds dumb. Like believing in fairies.” 

His father would smile, tensely, as though he were frustrated. “I don’t know what else to tell you, Zen-chan. It’s the truth.”

“Maybe you just _think_ it’s the truth. Someone’s name being on your wrist doesn’t mean _anything_. I think it’s just a mistake. How do you know you’re not just feeling the wrong thing?”

It would be at this point in the conversation that his father would scowl at him, angry in the way he got when he’d been asked too many questions. Katagiri really didn’t like that face, so he would drop the subject, mumbling a quiet apology and heading off to another room so that his father wouldn’t have to look at him.

He’d asked his mother the same question, of course. But he’d only asked her one time.

“You just know, Zen dearest,” she’d said, earning a groan in response.

“But that’s what papa says! I just don’t believe it! I think it’s all dumb!”

His mother had smiled tensely, her fingers tightening around her spoon. “Oh, really now? So, you think that people who believe in soulmates are dumb, then?”

This had been a test. However, Katagiri had only been four years old at the time, so he hadn’t recognized it as such.

“Well, yeah! The whole thing is stupid, you gotta be stupid to believe in it!”

When he’d met her eyes again, they’d turned dangerous. Angry. That look is still imprinted in his mind, and his young body had started to quiver in terror.

He doesn’t even remember what she’d said next. He couldn’t really focus on anything other than the pain of her metal spoon striking against his tiny body over and over again and her cold, spindly hands holding him in place. When he’d finally escaped her grasp, he’d fled to his room and stood in front of the mirror, lifting his shirt to stare at the bruises forming on his pale skin. He hadn’t been able to stop crying for at least an hour.

So, that had been a bust. But he’d figured he’d gotten what he’d needed. There wasn’t anyone else he could’ve asked, after all, and so he’d had to take what he’d been given from them: they couldn’t _really_ answer his question, so he’d been right. It all had to be fake.

Still, a part of him wouldn’t stop wondering. He still had that name on his wrist, after all. Some part of him had wanted to believe it wasn’t put there on accident. He’d continued to pester his father, asking the same question in hopes of getting a different answer. He’d never gotten one. The conversation had gone the same way every time.

Once, and only once, he’d asked his father the biggest question on his mind.

“Is mama your soulmate, papa?”

It had felt like the room had gone cold. His father had gone quiet for a long, long while, and he tensed, touching his fingers to his throat and rubbing at it anxiously.

Then, softly, as though he was afraid he’d be overheard, he’d said, “Of course she is, Zen-chan. What a ridiculous question.”

Whatever lingering faith Katagiri had held in the idea of soulmates had quickly been torn to shreds with that answer. He’d seen what his mother had done to his father. She had been an aggressive woman, quick to anger when she didn’t get her way, and Katagiri and his father had been victims of her wrath many, many times.

Katagiri still has the scars from the time she’d splashed boiling water in his face.

There’s no way that the universe would allow such a woman to be _anyone’s_ soulmate. It’s all fake. It has to be. His father must just be an idiot, and Katagiri had vowed not to fall into the same trap.

Whoever this “Fujimori Ayumu” is, they’re sure as _hell_ not his soulmate. Their name being on his wrist is a fluke and nothing more.

 

* * *

 

(Soon after he turns seven years old, his mother pulls a gun on his father. He’s not quite sure what exactly happens, but his mother is the one who ends up with a bullet in her brain. Three weeks later, his father turns the gun on himself, behind closed doors. Katagiri is left on his own, forced to fend for himself in this cruel, cruel world.

If this is what thinking you have a soulmate gets you, then seriously, count Katagiri _out_.)

**Author's Note:**

> i only set this at 10 chapters because that sounds about right i think. and also i don't like leaving it at an unknown number of chapters because it stresses me out ljasdfjlksdlf. it may be less, maybe a little more, i'm not sure yet. it's probably gonna be less haha. 
> 
> anyway w o w that was a lot about chapter numbers. i need to shut up lmao. please come contact me at marshmellowtea.tumblr.com if you wanna cry about yodogawa seishi with me :')


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